This is going to be the longest summer of my entire fucking life. None of this makes any sense to me. It’s week one and I’m already miserable. Trust me, I really am trying to make the best out of this really fucking shitty situation, but I struggle big time sometimes. One second I’m loving summer here and the next I can’t wait for it to be over. I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with Monday/moving.
Luckily my brother came to help me move some stuff on Sunday. It was nice to ride in the car with him for 2+ hours and talk a little. I learned a little more about him. He breaks my heart though. He is just so lost and it kills me to see that because he is genuinely the nicest guy ever and has the biggest heart. I wish some girl would see that and look past everything else. I hope this time in Vermont he can really find his niche and belong. Anyways, he helped me move Sunday night and then left right after. Monday was hell, I moved the rest of my stuff and worked a couple of hours in the housing office. All week I’ve been like rushing around for some reason to unpack and get things in place because I just want to feel settled. Tuesday was my first day of internship and it was just complete shit. I didn’t wanna go back on Thursday. It was horrible. I am a typical “intern” and get handed typical intern bitch work tasks and its so shitty. I stood in front of the sink washing dishes for an hour and a fucking half. If I wanted to wash dishes I would’ve interned at like a restaurant or something. Nope, instead I’m at an event planning company washing dishes. Fun Fun. I love spending 36 hours a week unpaid. and 16 of those hours washing dishes. I just cannot handle it. That isn’t even half of my week and I already can’t stand to go through day by day. Basically this week has been shit. I miss my family and New Milford and my boyfriend and I just wanna go the fuck home. I know complaining doesn’t get me anywhere and everyone is just sick of me talking about home and how I’m homesick and how none of this is fair, but it really isn’t. I know I need to just accept it and move on with life about it and stuff but I really just can’t. Last summer I was mad I had to leave the house in the middle of the day to have some strangers walk around thinking about buying it. Well at least I was actually there. Now it’s all gone and I’ll never be back in that house. I know its just a house but that’s my home. North Carolina has literally noooothing on CT. I want it all back and I just can’t accept that I’ll never have it again. I somehow just cannot be mature about this. I just wanna be home. I wanna be 5 minutes from my boyfriend. I wanna be miserable working at Dressbarn and RW’s. I just want all of it back. I want to be able to make enough money to support myself again. To pay for my own gas and buy myself new clothes. Nope, instead I work a 36.5 hour week completely unpaid and can’t buy myself anything at all. I am just miserable. I can’t handle this and really have no idea what to do about it.
Back to the start of this post. Stupid annoying bitches posting shit on vine literally all night. Oh, and its of my boyfriend. Film your own fucking boyfriends. Pretty sure if you were stuck in a city you didn’t want to be in, your family moved 900 miles away, and I was posting videos of your boyfriend singing and dancing, you’d be pretty pissed too. They are literally acting like they’re in high school. Oh Em Gee Summer 2013! I know I’m not one to talk since this is all really immature of me, but seriously guys, grow up. God, I am just beyond done and its only the first where. I literally have no clue where to go from here. I’ve tried to make the best out of this but it’s just not working. GOOO FUUUUCK YOURSELVESSSSS!
